


Bookstore Girl

by BitterButter



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-12 04:44:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17460851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BitterButter/pseuds/BitterButter
Summary: Cosette works at the local bookstore and Éponine is young, gay and reckless. I mean. As reckless as you can be spending all your money on books for the slight chance of getting noticed by your crush who you've never had a meaningful conversation with ever in your life. You know. A lesbian kind of reckless.





	1. Follow you I wouldn't dare

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by the song in the title, Bookstore Girl by Charlie Burg. A song about a girl. On a bookstore.  
> Anyways, I haven't written shit in a long time but it's not too bad considering I wrote it at 5 AM and with a complete lack of purpose or direction. Please don't be too harsh, english isn't my mother tongue and I am a dialogue kinda gal so whenever I have to write the in-betweens I just start throwing words in there and never know when to stop.

The bookstore in the corner. That’s where she was headed every day after class. It was almost an unconscious decision at this point, her feet went that direction without her even thinking about it. It was a quiet and warm place and the only bookstore in the village. Éponine had been going there since she started high school and went to buy her school books on her own. She discovered that little haven amidst her otherwise cold and empty little village.

Of course, she went there for the ambience. She had been going there for the ambience. Always. Up until a few months ago. When the bookstore owner’s daughter had started working there. Cosette. A girl she knew only by sight. They went to the same high school but not the same class and they didn’t have any friends in common. The only time Éponine had been able to talk to her was on a field trip where Cosette dropped a hairpin and Éponine took it. It had been awful awkward and weird. So Éponine didn’t really know why everytime she entered the bookstore now her pulse increased and her cheeks felt hot as fuck.

Ever since she could remember she had felt this flustered abnormal amount of feelings towards Cossette. Maybe it was because of her gentle voice, maybe because she had a smile that could light up entire stadiums, maybe because Éponine’s internalised homophobia pushed her toward girls who were unreachable and possibly straight because she would have to face actual possible relationships otherwise. Whatever the reason, she had been crushing on Cossette for a very long time. And now that she worked at her haven, her favourite place in town, it made it impossible for her not to fantasize about the possibility of something actually happening between them.

“Hi.” She muttered as she entered the store.

“Hello.” Replied the girl on the counter. She was… astoundingly pretty. Her long dark hair in a messy pony tail and her dark green eyes pointed right in Éponine’s direction.

She walked down the store, as always, to her favourite aisle. ‘Fiction and comic books’ read a sign on top of a big shelf that reached the ceiling. Éponine looked through the books as she tried to avoid Cossete’s eyes, still fixed on her. She was trying to get through them and knocked some by accident. Because she knew about that stare following her every movement.

“Sorry” she said and rushed to put the fallen books back on the shelf. Why was she doing this to herself? She could avoid the embarrassment by simply not going there everyday, but it was above her, she had to try. Maybe one day a conversation would start. A touch would happen. Anything, something.

“It’s fine” she heard behind her. “You knocked Stephen King, you might have hurt his ego.” The girl laughed. Éponine exhaled out of her nose. She couldn’t even muster laughter she was so nervous. She wasn’t seeing anything very compelling to read and was about to give up for today, but a comic book caught her eye, as it read ‘dykes to watch out for’. Éponine wheezed and picked it up. Good enough. She never had much money, so most days she wouldn’t buy anything and just gaze around as she thought of something to say to Cosette and leave after 15 minutes completely embarrassed. But today she had a little to spare and the book seemed hilarious and gay.

She started walking towards the counter when she realised. What if she was outing herself by buying this seemingly inoffensive book. She stopped on her tracks and started to panic. She wasn’t out. Well, she was out, but not like… to the whole school. Cosette knowing she was a lesbian couldn’t do any harm, right? Unless she would go gossiping around. That didn’t sound like her but… you can’t trust people with these things. And even for all her fantasies and hopes Éponine had to face the probable truth that Cosette was straight. Would she tell her friends? Or maybe it wasn’t that big a deal, maybe-

“Are you ok?” Cosette was looking at her again. Éponine realised that she was just standing there with the book on her hand and a weird ass face.

“Uh. Yes. I- I don’t know how much this costs I was just… thinking if I have enough…money.”

“Oh…umm, the price is usually on the back of the book.” She giggled. And it sounded like birds singing and that melted her insides. Oh my god get over it, Éponine yelled to herself on her head.

“Right.” She turned the book around to check a price she already knew for the sake of her dignity. “Ah, good, yeah, I can buy it.” The choice was made, the purchase was on the making.

“Cool.” Cosette smiled. Éponine made her way towards the counter, for good this time. She handed the book to Cosette and Cosette looked at it, and then at the computer, and then at the book, and then at Éponine, and then she smiled again, and then looked back at the book and typed something on the computer and then… this was taking forever. Or at least it seemed like it. Cosette finished typing. “That'll be 10 dollars then.”

“Here.” Éponine handed her the money. Cosette’s hand was so close to hers for a second and she lingered on it. She felt creepy and ashamed and weird. But also good. These were her moments of joy and disgust with herself. Being a lesbian is a full time job, and a tiring one at that.

“You want a bag?” Cosette seemed pretty oblivious to the repercussions or the meaning that book had to Éponine. Or maybe she was just judging silently. Éponine couldn’t tell and it was driving her crazy.

“That’s fine.” She took the book from the counter and took a deep breath.

“You know, Alison Bechdel is one of my favourite comic book artists.” Éponine looked at her. She didn’t know who Alison Bechdel was, probably the author of the book she was holding onto her chest as if it were a shield.

“Emm, who?” she looked at the book. “Her?”

“Yeah.”Cosette giggled again. “She wrote a lot of minicomics back in the nineties. And she published these two books about her relationship with her family, they are seriously awesome and actually fun to read too. We might be getting them next week, if you like this one, tell me and I’ll save you one!”

She sounded so… into it. Like. This was the kind of conversation Éponine had been hoping would spark up in her daily visits. And now that it was happening she could barely come up with a sad little “Sure.” before leaving the bookshop. 

Why? Why her? Why so cruelly? Giving her what she wanted and then taking it so quickly out of her hands. She hit herself on the head with the book. Fuck, she thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big shout out to Alison Bechdel, our lesbian jesus.
> 
> I have another chapter in the making but I Do Not Know when I'll post it.


	2. I wonder what your name is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shouldn't have gone there, you dumb bitch.

Éponine was half sleeping on her desk as some teacher talked about some topic she should probably care about but couldn’t muster the will in her heart to give two shits.

“Ep” she heard a soft whisper besides her. “Ep.”

A finger started poking her arm. She growled.

“What?”

“I took notes in math, it’s your turn.” A notebook was slipped in her direction. She looked at it and sighed.

“I can’t. My hand is asleep.”

“Bullshit.”

Éponine turned a little to face Courfeyrac and looked at him like a panther would look at a puppy. Courfeyrac took the notebook, resigned and started taking notes.

“You owe me too many. The system is failing.” He said dramatically. Éponine didn’t reply and just went back to her half sleeping half torturing herself. She couldn’t stop thinking about her missed chance with Cosette. Maybe it wasn’t even a missed chance because even if she could have had the right words, it wouldn’t have leaded anywhere. Probably. Maybe. There was the doubt, now stuck in her brain like a splinter.

In recess she usually walked around a park right next to the school, maybe went to the store and bought a couple of donuts. But today was too cold and she stayed with Courf and his group of friends sitting on the stairs.

“Sorry about class.” Éponine said with a mouth full of sandwich.

“Nah, it’s fine, good for my education I guess.” Courf laughed. “But hey, are you ok? Didn’t you sleep last night or something?”

“Don’t worry about it.” She replied, elusive as she was.

“You look like hell.” Grantaire, one of Courf’s friends, joined in.

“Thanks, I do my best.” Éponine grunted.

“But really, Ép, what’s with you?” Courf insisted.

“Nothing, I swear, just… y’know, exams and parents and… stuff.”

“Ah yes.” Grantaire said mockingly, now an official participant of the conversation, “stuff, I know what you mean. Keeps me awake most nights too.”

“She’s not talking about weed, Taire.” Courfeyrac pushed him gently and laughed.

“HEY. Me neither. But I get what she means.” He winked at Éponine, who was a bit confused as to what this guy thought he knew.

“What then?” Courf looked at the both of them as Éponine scrutinised at Grantaire.

“She likes someone, right?” Grantaire replied, haughtily.

“Do you??” Courf turned to her with excitement.

“No.” She felt her cheeks burning and she turned to avoid eye contact with either of them. She had never told Courf about her crush, mainly cause they weren’t that close anyways, they just sat together in a few classes and had enough in common to get along with each other, but there was a stronger reason not to tell Courf. Cause he was incapable of laying low. Incapable of keeping a secret. He would jump every time Cosette passed by and point at her and be like ‘It’s her!!! Talk to her!!!’ and Éponine couldn’t handle that.

“Oh my god! You do!” Courf exclaimed way too loudly, thus proving her point.

“Fuck off.” She said. Which made her sound. Very suspicious. But whatever.

“Who??” Courf grabbed her by the shoulders. “Come on Ep spit it out.”

“I don’t like- it’s no one. Shut up.”

Courf let her go and looked straight at her with all the seriousness he could manage. Éponine was avoiding looking at him. She felt embarrassed and stupid. She had been keeping it for so long, but honestly? She was dying to tell someone. And she knew Courf was gay so he probably wouldn’t be surprised about her. But there was still something so difficult about saying it out loud.

“It’s ok if you don’t wanna talk about it, I’m sorry.” He turned around and gestured Grantaire to leave them alone. Grantaire scoffed and turned to his other friends, who were having a heated conversation about why the ‘y’ could be accentuated ‘ý’. Courf turned back to her. “No pressure, but you know… I love these things.” He let out a soft laugh at the end.

“I do like someone, but I don’t wanna talk about it here.” She smiled at him to let him know it was ok.

“That’s fine, baby, at least now I know you are onto something.” He nudged her.

***

“It’s Grantaire.” Courf exclaimed like he just cracked the code. “That’s why you didn’t want to talk about it!”

“Yeah!! The only reason why I wouldn’t want to talk about who I like in front of a friend of yours I almost don’t know is because it’s him!"

“Ok, wow, tone it down Miss, I’m just guessing.” He laughed.

They were walking side by side on the sideway. Courf had suggested skipping class to go talk about stuff, and Éponine was fine with that. Courfeyrac’s curiosity was only matched by his knowledge in the art of gay seduction, so he could be of help. Even though Éponine was still terrified of telling him cause she just knew he would expose her. But she really needed to talk about it. It was complicated, like everything else.

So there they were, out of school, walking, Courf trying to guess who it was and Éponine trying to find the words to justify herself in case she ended up telling him.

“Is it me?”

“No.” She replied roughly. “Sorry, mate.”

“Ouch. Come on, I’m running out of options.” He moaned. “Is it Marius? You two were kinda close before, weren’t you? If it’s not him then I really don’t know. Do we have classes in common with him? Is he even in our school?”

“Yeah.” She sighed, about to jump into a pit. “She’s in our school.”

Courf didn’t seem to notice the pronoun correction and kept on going through names in his head. And then he stopped in his tracks. “Wait. It’s a she??” He looked so happy. “You little devil, quiet Éponine is into The Girls?”

“Yeah...” She scoffed and smiled at Courf’s excitement. She felt safe and cozy, like it didn’t even mattered, so she added: “Exclusively.”

“I gotta say, I was thinking about it, but didn’t wanna jump to conclusions in case it made you feel uncomfortable. I mean, you do have that butchy vibe about you.”

“Thanks?” Éponine laughed. She felt very good, like she had just climbed a very high mountain. She had never felt this cozy about her situation before; it was nice for a change. She felt silly for making such a big deal out of it.

“So.” Said Courf.

“So.” Replied Éponine.

“Who is she?”

“Damn it, I already told you more than I’ve ever told anyone, can you…” She gesticulated moving her hands around. Courf smirked.

“Yeah, yeah. But I’ll get it off you.”

“Whatever.” Éponine smirked too. They kept walking towards the park, in silent, gay compliance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not really advancing in the eposette area, but I felt it was necessary to establish more context on Éponine's crush and how she deals with it all. She's been sabotaged by the gay crushing connoiseur, Grantaire.  
> I will be making chapter three soon. It may be focused on Cosette, we might never know.


End file.
